Dispensations, Convalidations, Bishops, Oh My!

I have been speaking with the Deacon who has been my instructor for RCIA. According to him before I can receive any of the Sacraments and possibly even before I can participate in the Rite of Acceptance, we have to have our marriage Convalidated. Convalidation is basically getting your marriage validated in the eyes of the church. Even though we had a minister preside over our wedding in the eyes of the church it was a civil marriage. In the eyes of the law, we have been rightfully married for 11 years. In the eyes of the church we aren’t. Since my husband was baptized Catholic when he was a baby, and I was never baptized we need a dispensation That is, from what I’ve gather, permission for the Bishop for a Catholic and non-baptized person to get married. The Deacon says there shouldn’t be a problem because I am going though RCIA.

I have to find my marriage certificate. I need it anyway to renew my license. I know the last time I saw it was when we were packing to move. I can’t remember if we put it in storage or if we brought it with us. Oh well I guess I will find it and if not I’ll just have to go to the vital statistics office to get a new one.

I went looking on line about the whole convalidation process. I found some sample forms that we will need to fill out. We have to agree that our marriage is invalid. But I keep telling myself that it is only invalid in the eyes of the church. I have still been married for over ten years. The ups and downs we have been through existed and have made us the strong loving couple we are today. I have people telling us all the time. “I want what you guys have.” “You guys are so cute together, so much love between the two of you.” That has to mean something in the eyes of the Church. No?

Has anyone out there been through this? How did it work out for you? What were some bumps you hit? How did you get through it?