I'm not sure what to title this so I am just going to leave in "untitled". I ran into a pregnant co-worker today. She looks so pretty with he little baby bump.
(God, how I wish I had one.) I found myself a couple of time during our conversations saying to myself, "God, I hope she never has to go through what I went through." Instantly I felt guilty for having that thought. It wasn't a bad thought. I was simply saying a silent prayer that she won't have to go through what I went through. I felt like I was cursing her. Like I was damming her to this little "club" we have. And that was really not the case. I wouldn't wish being a BLM on my worst enemy. But I still can't but feel guilty that I may have ginxed her. Although that was not my intention. I find myself saying that a lot every time a seem a pregnant lady.
Why do I feel guilty by this?
I feel so confused by this feeling.
Well, I think I found the title of this post.
I didn't do or say anything wrong.
I had a horrible time when I went back to work, alot of mixed feelings, and then to add a pregnant co worker in the mix is just, well, its sucks. I went through the same thing but with two co workers who I consider good acquaintenances, you are not alone. I felt myself worried sick for them everyday. Big hugs xoxoxo Nan
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