Friday, November 30, 2012

Biting My Tongue

There is so much I want to say.

So much I need to say.

I know all the anxiety I am getting has a lot to do with all of the crap I am holding in. I don't even know why I am feeling this way. All I know is that I am just...miserable. And the anxiety just make this fifty million times worse. How, when did I become so bitter? It's border line hatred. Not toward anyone in particular, not to anything in particular. I really don't like that way I am feeling.

I don't know I hope what ever is going on with me ends soon, because i am tired of feeling this way.

Laters,



Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Hmm...

It's been a while since I last wrote anything. I have been so engrossed in work and life, that I haven't really had anytime for me. No I take the back the only me time I get is when I am reading a book. Been doing a lot of reading lately. Mostly romance novels that get my head a fudged up.

October and November have been pretty crazy months for me us. October was just a bad, bad month. I'll spare all the details. The end of October we got hit with Hurricane Sandy. Holy cow. The devastation. Places I've spent summers with family and friends are...gone. We were without power for about 5 days. But I'd rather take that than experience what other people have. My daughter's God mom was in the middle of moving and lost pretty much everything. I know someone who was without power for 16 days. Wow...talk about living in the dark ages. can't imagine. I was barely keeping it together with the 5 days we were without. Working in the dark sucked. Especially with what I do. Halloween was canceled. Who would have thought.

November, seems to be better but my head just won't stop. I don't know if I'm coming or going. There is just so much on my mind, so much I want to say. But I'm afraid to say it, afraid to hurt feelings. Afraid to come across as, as a bitch.

I see so much potential in people and yet they aren't trying or don't want to try.
Thanksgiving was pretty nice. We spent the day with hubby's family, before I had to go to work. Working holidays suck, but I look at it as it pays the bills. I wish I didn't have to work so much.

I blew my back out and now they say I have sciatica. Crap this hurts. i have been in constant pains since the beginning of November. I've always have back issues and tailbone issues. But this is for the dogs. I would love to be pain free.

Hubby's birthday is coming up. He wasn't to go to Red Lobster. We'll probably do that on the weekends., Since I have to work on his actual birthday. He don't want much of anything for his birthday or Christmas. He does want the WII U, the new game system that's coming out that came out. I've asked him a couple of times what he wants and all he says is, "I want you".

Oh we put out tree up for the first time in like 4 years.

Hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving.