I often wonder what she would be like? What she would be doing? I am sure that that is a thought that will be with me forever. What would her hair look like? Her eyes? Her smile? How tall would she be? Would she be outgoing or quiet and shy? Would she talk our ears off like her father?
One of my co-workers is pregnant with her first child. We were sitting at the table just chatting about her pregnancy. I began talking about mine. She looked at me puzzled, oh of those tilt your head to the side kind of looks. She than said, "Oh I didn't know you had kids?" I felt my face get hot. How do you explain to someone pregnant with the first child that babies die. That mine died. So I told her they yeah I was pregnant, I had a kid, she would have been three and she passed away. Yeah it's a sad reality that babies die. But I was not going to be the one to say "enjoy every bit of your pregnancy because it can be taken away like that. {snaps finger}.
Anyways, hear I sit another year without my daughter. Another year of heartache. Another year mourning the loss of my sweet little Angel.
I don't cry much anymore. Only once in a while. I guess I am at piece with is all. I do miss her though. And wonder what if and what would all the time.
My Dearest Shealyn,
I just want you to say that I love you so much. I can't believe it has been 3 years since we met you, since we held you. What more can; I say I love and miss you. Daddy does too. He get so upset when he sees people raising their kids when they are being bad parents. I feel bad for him because I can't give him another child. Give him a kiss on the nose tonight. I love you sweetie.
Love,
Mommy
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| Our final goodbye |
Oh wow that made me really sad. I found you from BLM bloggers I just wanted you to know I read your story and said a prayer for your comfort!
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