I was in the hospital...visiting. It was the hospital where my grandfather passed away. I was in the room he died in, standing at the foot of the bed. I wasn't sad. In fact I don't remember feeling any type of emotion. He (my grandfather) was standing next to me. I didn't need to look at him. I know it was him from the smell of his Cologne/aftershave. Brut. But I looked anyway. There he stood next to me...to my right...as handsome as ever, with that grey twinkle in his eyes. It was him. Jeans, t-shirt, gold medallion, gold bracelet, and watch. His hair soft like baby hair. It was him, MY grandfather standing next to me for the first time in forever.
He acknowledged me with a smile, put his arm around me and drew his attention to the bed. I turned my head to look at what he was looking at. There was someone in the bed. I do not know who they were or if they were a man or a woman. The person was covered from head to toe in a blanket. They weren't dead but they were close. There was a tube coming from the bed by where the mouth of this person would have been. I followed the light blue tube to a ventilator. The ventilator had clearly seen better days. There was a sticker on the ventilator of a pink and purple butterfly. I tilted my head to the side and before I could ask.
My grandfather says, "The ventilator is old and not working properly. No matter what you do the result will be the same. If you put the new ventilator together the old one will stop working before you are done. It you can manage to get the new one together before then you will have to unplug to old one to plug the new one in. Either way the outcome will be the same and it will only prolong the inevitable."
I turn to speak but I am interrupted by a nurse who comes in and checks the monitors. She turns to me, smiles and nods, "Ma'am."
After she leaves the room, I turn to my grandfather, who is looking at me waiting for me to ask my question. I take a deep breathe, and ask, "Who is this? Why do I have to out it together?" He tightens his arm, kissing my hair takes a breathe and replies, "Because it will always you." Huh? What the hell does that mean? He continued, " No matter how hard you try and figure it out, look at it from a different angle the result will always be the same. You know that. I know that. I know the you know that, Pook." His nickname for me...Pook. Never understood it but that was one of his nicknames for me. I guess it's short for Pookie. I have no idea. One of the things I never got the chance to ask him about.
The nurse came back in, this time announcing the the floor would be closing soon and we need to leave in a few minutes. I say to the nurse, "Thank you."
I look up at my grandfather, soaking every detail of his face. Committing everything to memory. "Are you ready?", he asks me. Wait... ready for what? To leave? No, I'm not ready! I have so much I want to say. I nod and we begin to walk to the door. No, No, NO!!! I'm not ready to go. I can't leave yet, WHO'S IN THE BED?!?! Stopping at the door, he says, "You know..." Wait! Is he answering my unspoken question? No, I don't know. He kisses my temple, then continues, "...I miss seeing your smile." I say nothing. We enter the hall and part ways. No bye, no see you later.
That's when I wake up.
Link to my other dream.
