For awhile now, I have been feeling do angry. Pissed off at the world. Stressed out about work and the population that I work with wearing me down. I wasn't happy at home. I mean I was happy but not truly happy. I have been saying to my husband that I have been tired and stressed. Telling him months ago that we needed more money. Our finances suck. Who's' doesn't? He always would say that same thing. "They'll raise our rent." (True, rent control apartments suck.) Or, "my back can't handle more than what I am doing." (true, is back IS bad).

But it still wasn't helping me. So,  I decided to start making jewelry, rosaries in particular. That's what I started with. In hopes that is would take off and I could bring in more money under the table. I also thought about getting a second job. I did the two job thing in the passed. And it sucked. One job was in the morning 7-3 and the other job was full time/part time at night 4-9 or whenever the store would close. It was not fun and I busted my ass. I need the other basically for gas money and to help get a car. Needless to cay that car only last 3 weeks before the engine went but I leased a car. And the day job paid for insurance and payments while the other paid for gas.

Anyway back to what I Was saying. So, last year the development didn't factor in part of my income and I ended up have it pay back rent. I found this out when I went to sign my lease for this year. The back rent was almost 3 grand. I made arrangements with them and I had to come up with a certain amount of money for a down payment and then pay them $50  month in addition to my current rent. It wasn't anyone's fault really. But anyway, so I get paid every other week. One check out of the month  goes toward the rent. As a result I am paying my other bills late and am always behind in something. I forget to pay the extra 50 one month and we get a letter from the court demanding the full amount or we'll be evicted. 

This letter caused a downward spiral in my life, in my relationship. I refused to live in my car. It seemed like everything for the last few months came to a head and exploded. This was the quieted argument in the world because it was all done over email. I'll spare you the details. But hubby and I were going to split. In fact we did spilt for about 20 hours. I was an emotional wreck. My boss called me and I lost it on her. Poor thing I felt bad laying it all out for her. but she was the first person I had spoken to about it. She gave me a couple of days off to try and figure where I was going to live, how I was going to get the money, etc.

Don't know what lies ahead for me...for us