It Has Been A While

Since I had a dream of her. Last night she was there. In my dreams. So close yet so far away. The dream didn't make much of any sense. It wasn't a literal dream. More to be interpreted. But she was there. And she was the cutest this I ever say. She looked to be about 3 years old. Which given either the day she was born or the day she should have been born is the right age. She had short really tight curly hair. Almost like a light brown to medium brown color. She was pale like daddy. I can't say if she looked like me or like daddy. But I knew at the second I saw her that it was her. I don't really remember having dreams of her. Just in the very beginning but they were more like nightmares. I wanted to get near her to touch her, to talk to her but the people there wouldn't let me.

It was a weird dream. Maybe someone reading can interpret it.

I was at a funeral. Don't know who's funeral. We are all outside at the cemetery. I was sitting in the back of all of the chairs. People were carrying the casket (which was about 8 feet long very exaggerated silver and gold) in a marching band type formation. I said to the person sitting next to me that this was ridiculous and got up and walk around to Shealyn's headstone. Which by the way, we don't have because we had her cremated. Anyway, I was facing her headstone and rested my head on it. This guys came walking over stopped a few feet from me and asked if I wanted privacy. I said no that it was ok. And he took a few steps closer, and began talking to me. We were talking about loss and I began asking him questions to kind of get a mans perspective. Then my husband came over asking he if could help the guy he said no and he and I said goodbye. I then walked back over to the funeral. which was now inside a building of some kind. I the seats were flipped. Those sitting the front were now in the back and those in the back were now in the front.

I was now in my seat and I was fiddling with some things I had in my hand, when I looked up to my right. And standing there in the corner of the room was I guy I used to work with who passed away about a year or so ago. I waved and stood up to walk over to him and that's when I saw her.

She was standing behind him and slightly to his right. She kind of looking like she was peaking around his legs. Kind of like how a kid does when they are shy. I stopped right where I was and just stared. Took in all of her feature. What she looked like. What she was wearing. She was so cute and so my daughter.

 I began walking over to them again and by this time we were leaving the building. I was trying to get out of line so I can stay and talk with them but the people, so many people wouldn't let me. I was outside now trying to get back in and I couldn't and that is when I woke up.

What does it mean? Does it mean anything? Could it just be from the cold/fever I've had the last couple of days?

This is the first time I can honestly say that I dream of her. Where it was her, the age she would have been, the age she should be. And at this post I don't really care what the dream meant. I saw her and that's all that matters.


On a side note. If any one can interpret it please let me know what your thoughts are.